Imagine Bill Gates’ reaction if someone had claimed that his biggest problem when he ran Microsoft was winning too often. That judgement probably wouldn’t have had much of an impact on the way Gates went about his business or carried himself as a leader. After all, in the world of big business, winning is what you are supposed to do, because it translates into making more money.

But, for a few moments, let’s consider whether winning too much hinders someone’s leadership ability. Marshall Goldsmith, a world-renowned expert on executive coaching, believes it does. He calls this phenomenon the “dark side” of success. Everyone is willing to talk about the fruits of victory, he explains, but very few want to open up about the challenges they face as successful leaders.

Success doesn’t always breed success.

Mid-level and senior leaders who have risen through the ranks are, by definition, successful people, with attributes that have helped them achieve long lists of accomplishments. Goldsmith has devoted his career to helping successful leaders make lasting changes that take their leadership to the next level. He describes his clients as “mega-successful” people. That means he has seen the impact of leadership on a grand scale. That impact, he says, is not always pretty.

Part of the problem is that, as leaders move to higher levels of the organization, many of their peers share the same attributes. Everyone is functionally skilled. Everyone is smart. Everyone is up to date on the latest technical aspects of the job. The higher leaders rise, the more their opportunities for growth become behavioral. As leaders become more successful, mastering their subtler attributes and behaviors helps them achieve even greater success.

In his book “What Got You Here Won’t Get You There,” Goldsmith explores 20 self-limiting behaviors (“derailers”) that can stall the progress of highly successful leaders. During a recent interview with the Harvard Business Review, Goldsmith was asked to name the number one derailer. He replied:

Winning too much! Successful leaders love winning in every context! Is it meaningful? Win. Is it critical? Win. Is it trivial? Win. Is it not worth it? Win anyway! Imagine a leader who has a hard day at work. She goes home. Her husband or partner says, “I had a hard day!” and she replies, “You had a hard day? Do you have any idea what I had to put up with?” Most successful leaders are so competitive that they have to prove they’re more stressed out than the people they live with!

Goldsmith observes that the lower leaders are in the organization, the more important it is to be a winner. But the higher they go, the more dysfunctional it is to be a winner. “For great achievers, it’s all about ‘me,’” he says. “For great leaders, it’s all about others.”

Because of the profound difference between “I win” and “they win,” it is incredibly challenging to transition from being a great achiever to being a great leader.

FeedForward for Deep Leadership Development.

Winning too much is just one of 20 derailers leaders might have in their behavioral repertoire. Multiply the challenges of winning too much by as much as 20, and change can be intimidating to leaders who need to rise to the next level. What can they do? Goldsmith suggests a solution that leaders can apply once they identify their derailers: FeedForward.

The FeedForward process can be a positive, upbeat way to help leaders improve their performance. Goldsmith says that FeedForward is the essence of leadership development – a practice that can serve leaders well both inside and outside of the workplace. It’s a simple process, so leaders have no excuse not to try it.

To understand FeedForward, think of what you know about feedback. Giving feedback is a well-known workplace skill based on the past: People work for a specific period of time, and then managers or leaders critique their work. Here’s the problem with that model: No one can change the past.

The first rule of FeedForward is that it’s not about the past. FeedForward is all about what leaders can do in the future, letting others know what they’d like to accomplish and asking for ideas on how to do it. It’s about simply saying to another person, “I want to get better at…” and unpacking a personal pool of possibilities, with ideas from others.

“If feedback is past tense,” Goldsmith says, “FeedForward is future perfect.”

FeedForward overcomes the two biggest obstacles leaders face with negative feedback: first, that successful people in dominant positions don’t want to hear criticism, and second, that their subordinates rarely want to give it.

FeedForward circumvents criticism and shrinks discussion to the intimate dimensions of two human beings. It invites common, human reactions to situations, including when leaders are addressing the behavior of the people they lead. This leads us to the second rule of FeedForward: Leaders cannot judge or critique the ideas they receive.

Ideas are gifts that help leaders grow.

Typically, the quickest way to shut down others is to evaluate or judge the ideas they offer. The beauty of FeedForward is that it encourages the opposite: Leaders hear and consider new ideas. Leaders can’t say “Good idea,” “Bad idea,” “I already knew that,” “That will never work,” or any other statements that carry the weight of judgment.

Goldsmith says that FeedForward works best when leaders stop talking, listen and take notes. They should treat the ideas they receive as gifts and express gratitude to the people who share their thoughts. When leaders respond to FeedForward with a simple “thank you,” amazing things are possible – for their organizations, their colleagues and their own performance as leaders. FeedForward can be life-changing both for the leader and the organization.