“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” – Carl Jung

Are you dealing with people who make your life miserable? It has been estimated that there are at least thirty toxic personality types. Depending on the crowd at your organization, you may think it’s more!

The good news is that you can improve these personal dynamics and reduce your frustration. You may be the group leader or simply a professional interacting with your coworkers. Either way, you can learn how to respond to neutralize these energy-draining people.

Here is tip #1: No matter how challenging, belligerent or negative the difficult person’s behavior, don’t take it personally.

In the training world, you start with a needs analysis. Identifying the type of personality you are dealing with is step one. Once you recognize it, you can plan your actions. Knowledge is the prelude to a solution.

Tip #2: Those with whom we assemble, we soon resemble! If you are a hiring manager, choose your staff wisely. If you are dealing with fellow employees, be choosy about who you befriend.

There are three common personality types that cause chaos. Let’s start with “Aaron,” an arrogant know-it-all who is confrontational, insecure and manipulative and overwhelms you with data and information. He talks at you, not to you. He is not open-minded to learning more…especially from you.

Ready to give up? Exhausted from talking to him? Try these steps first:

• Know your facts.
• Ask questions.
• Resist the urge to lose your cool.
• Smile and don’t back down.
• Don’t try to play his game.
• Stand up straight, keep smiling, listen, look him in the eye, close the conversation when you are ready and walk away.

Tip #3: Don’t let an “Arrogant Aaron” drain and exhaust you or make you feel victimized.

The second type is “Bully Bruno.” When he wants your opinion, he will give it to you. He is out of control, pushy, intimidating, loud and angry. He feels empowered by emotionally devouring you and spitting you out.

Scary, eh? Give him this knockout punch:

• Use the mirror technique: Quickly mimic his tone and comments back to him.
• Never cower or flee.
• Leave the scene.
• Use the humor technique: “Do you ever get tired of having yourself around?” or another quick comeback. Research with children has found that using humor disarms the bully and gains the respect of onlookers.

Tip #4: Minimize your work interaction with “Bruno,” and consider email as a better choice for communicating.

One favorite is “Drama Denise.” We have all worked with her. Drama Denise livens dull parties and cracks the best jokes during staff meetings. She adds a welcome splash of color to a black-and-white scene. But her insatiable hunger for attention can look a lot like arrested development. She is uncomfortable if she is not the center of attention. Drama Denise is overly emotional and shallow, lacks details, needs excitement, is overly concerned with her appearance, and lurches from crisis to crisis.

Here’s how to deal with Drama Denise:

• Stay calm; don’t overreact to what she says to you.
• Set boundaries about what you are willing to discuss and for how long.
• Consider cutting ties using “constructive avoidance.”

Drama queens are sound-biters. They come, grandstand and leave for the next scene. They employ theatrics with dress, voice and movements.

Tip #5: Use time management with “Denise”; tell her up front how long you can chat.

When you are able to handle the difficult and toxic people in your work life, you will become a much stronger, more secure and more appreciated employee. The trick is to deal strategically and consistently with the personality and make conscious choices about which strategy to use.